5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
