Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Randomize
