i jhust puked up my retainher.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
