If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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