Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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