That's intense
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
