bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
