3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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