not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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