if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
