It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
