I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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