Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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