My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
