I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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