she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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