For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
