dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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