Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
