see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
