SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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