Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
