K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
