Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
