Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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