I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
