So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
