ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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