I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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