so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
