You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
