i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
