Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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