I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
