Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
