You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
