I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
