Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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