I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
