Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
