My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
