Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
