so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
