Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
