She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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