Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
