____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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