The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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