i think i have two assholes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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