Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
please come you make the beer taste better
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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