I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize