I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm always down for nudity.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
