He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
