Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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