I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
