I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
