I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
