I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
