I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
