office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
