don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
